Homecoming

Standing within the remnants of these smoldering
walls, I bleed out with each tear that falls.
A sacred place where the ghosts of the past
reach out and speak to me.

A man and a woman talk in a low whisper.
Children are laughing.  The sound of joy and pain
resonates from those who lived here before.
Soon I feel a blanket of comfort surround me,
like lying still in a lover's arms.

The destruction of this house was swift and complete
and no match for any man, however nothing could
touch it's core.
The foundation of this home is solid and
cannot be adulterated.  It stands firm in faithfulness.
Dreams and desires are intact and forever present.

Cremated  remains of meaningless possessions lay
waste in thick ash that cover the surrounding soil.
Gentle yet persistent new life pushes through, yearning
for the warm touch of the sun, in a lovely hallelujah to
the blue sky above.

The secrets here of the unknown are no longer kept.

Most see carelessness and neglect where I stand.
A home forgotten by the unforgiving hand of tragedy,
but I see this as the place where the beautiful things dwell.

*Heavenly Body

...and so it seems I have been stripped of
everything I thought was real.

Wrapped only in a pure robe of intense light,
my perfect naked form is illuminant. 
Gone is embarrassment, flaws and imperfections,
being discontent.  An indescribable joy and
absolute love is all I am capable of feeling.
The word "beautiful" is too anemic.

I am torn from this dream and thrown back
to the here and now.  In the bed of pain and
and aggravation that I have made for myself.

I turn my head and watch my young children
sleeping next to me, their sweet faith and innocence
exposed in their quiet slumber.  Even if the rest of
my life is filled with strife and grief, it is alright -
I have tasted heaven.

A Way With Words

Juxtapose:  to put side by side or close together -
jux'ta-po-si'tion  n.






This was the word I woke up with on my mind this morning.  Words have much
meaning to me but I didn't have the energy to over analyze the word and how it applied to my life.  No, instead of that, I started to ponder the power of words.
For instance, one adjective can be replaced with eleven other words that have
the same meaning.  Case in point:

deliberate adj.  intentional, conscious, willful, considered, planned,
calculated, intended, purposeful, premeditated, designed, unhurried

Some words seem to have more bearing then others.  Choose the right ones
and I'm ignited with desire, a yearning to have or want more, perhaps even, to
love you.  The unfortunate side of the human tongue is hurt.  I can be thrown into a
world of pain when words are chosen to provoke just that.  Then I will
hate you and feel sick anytime my eyes behold you, so be careful and choose
what you say wisely.   Once spoken, you cannot take words back and you may,
very well, end up eating them with nothing to wash them down.

Sensuality of Sweat

I steadily ascend the steep incline,
waves crash on the unforgiving rocks below.
The air is thick with the smell of salt and
wild fennel.

I am wrapped by a blanket of heat
from the sun baring down on me.
Perspiration escapes the nape of my neck,
travels down my back like a lover's deliberate
touch, as he runs his fingers down the length
of my spine.

That was a memory long forgotten,
suspended in the corner of my mind and
now shaken loose, it slams into my
heart with amazing force.

*The Fall of the Butterfly Doll

She came protected in a plastic box, clothes of a princess and perfect hair that
smelled like fresh berries.  Her pristine state did not last long, her descend to
discard was rapid -  just a matter of days by the hands of a six year-old tomboy.

She emerged from her plastic case in the back seat of the car and was immediately
thrust out the window to experience "turbo speed".  The sheer velocity proved to be too
much for her wings, they snapped from her back to fall on the side of Hwy.1, to be picked
by Cal Trans at a later date, I'm sure.  Then followed, one or two days later, the loss of her
her left leg while being forced to execute over extended splits.  Finally, the next day, she
was unceremoniously decapitated.  Her head lay on the floor board of the car next to a
bubble gum wrapper, half a blue crayon and a 1989 penny.  I felt sorry for her so I picked
up her head, took it from the car and impaled it on a dead, thorny stalk of the rose bush
outside my front door.

A couple of days later I peered out the family room window to find two seagulls
picking at the wiper blades on my car.  I opened the front door to scare them off
but they wouldn't budge.  I armed myself with the first thing I could find - the doll head.
I hurled her at them and broke up their party.  She landed between the wipers, stuck in 
the space where the windshield meets the hood and there she stayed for three weeks,
driving up and down the central coast with me.  I bet that girl traveled at least five
hundred miles, she never bailed and didn't complain, the perfect passenger.

Finally, I grew tired of looking at her face and at other times the back of her head,
a mess of purple hair flying everywhere.  Pulling into a parking space at work one morning,
I plucked her from her resting place on the hood and wedge her between the "In"
and "Out" pipes of the soft water tank outside the back door of the building.
That was two months ago and she's been there ever since.

*The Mermaid and Me by Ron Hamburg

The 5 year old mermaid princess knocked on several doors. "Hello is there anyone home?" No answer because every year in the poor, South Central LA neighborhood, maybe 6 or 8 houses hand out candy. We spoke of the haunted alley, the mop head goblin, and the dark scary porches. We held hands. "I love you daddy!" It was Halloween night.

*Apology

Thank you for your forgiveness. 
I am not fully aware of all the times
I have broken your heart these last forty-
four years.  But they are many...

Long nights where sleep never came,
you dared to walk into the the ugliest and
painful of places, where even brave men had
feared to travel.

My love for you is incredible and
will always be until I die,
and even then, that love I hold will
become absolutely pure.